“It is often said of women that she is foolish to consider herself the mistress of her time.”
I started the first chapter, thinking I’ll read a few pages and get back to it later. But before I knew it, I was curled up in bed, my hands glued to the book and I was almost 100 pages in. Very few books have had me hooked like this. A poignant story of 3 uniquely complex women. A story that explores the depths of relationships and tests their endurance at different turning points in their lives, right before everything changes.
1980
Constance Holden had an alluring presence you could not ignore if you tried. Being a successful writer, she always had a way with words. Charmed by Connie’s grace and charisma, Elise, a naive 20-year-old, gets unconditionally wrapped up in this older woman’s life. Elise was all consumed by the aura of Connie. Enough to pick up and leave Hampstead and accompany Connie to LA, where her acclaimed novel was being adapted into a big-time Hollywood movie.
Their lives in LA brought upon a new version of them both. While Connie soaked in the glory of her written words coming to life with LAs elite crowd, Elise slowly started blurring out in the shadows of Connie’s igniting spotlight. The invisible existence of their age gap was now catching up with them. It was time Elise tried to find herself, beyond who she was with Connie. Knowing how much this would sting her deep inside, Elise untangles the strings that kept her tied to Connie. But was this freeing herself from this new life or Connie?
“There are always women, of course, who don’t feel the floor slipping out from under their feet, who see an unwanted pregnancy as a surmountable situation, whether they go through with it or not. They can see the world of difference between being a pregnant human female and becoming a mother. They will not be in thrall to unasked-for biology. They will not have their minds turned in directions they do not want.”
2017
Rose, going on with her monotonous life, a menial job at a cafe, a boyfriend she’s been living with and a gaping void left by her mother when she abandoned Rose as a baby and never looked back. Rose believed that finding her mother would piece together the unfinished puzzle she’s been working on her whole life.
One day, her father hands her two old paperbacks and tell her the author of these books was the last person to see her mother before she disappeared without a trace, 34 years ago. An author, at the peak of her career, stopped writing. Who chose a solitary life and has not been seen in the public eye since. Stunned to hear this secret that her father was holding onto for all these years, she sets out to get answers to all the questions she had growing up. And soon enough, she finds herself standing outside Constance Holden’s house and knocking on her door.
The writing in this book is simply beautiful. I was entirely invested in this captivating tale, wanting to peel off another layer of these beautifully flawed and heavily nuanced characters; A big part of why it made for such a remarkable book, hitting just the right spots. There was a natural sense of flow to the narrative, even though it was in different timelines, which kept me turning each page quicker than the last.
One thing I absolutely loved about the book, the women had a sense of undisguised self-awareness about them that they were not afraid to show. Though an effortless read, you can feel the intensity and passion through the beautifully written conversations between each character. The Confession leaves us with the crumbs of an almost satisfying ending.