“I'm not white, no, but I'm just close enough that I could be, and just far enough that you know I'm not. I can check off a diversity box for you and I don't make you nervous - at least not on the surface. I'm the whole package!”
Discovered this book floating in Amazon’s pool of many lists. After a bit of exploration, other than the known fact, of her being a Canadian born Indian writer, I find out that she's a culture writer at BuzzFeed, who grew up reading Sedaris. The intriguing title is what made me want to read it. Of course, I ordered it the first day it came out in India, because one cannot have enough unread books!
This book was a heartfelt surprise. Few pages in, and I was smiling wide enough to make my jaw hurt or was just laughing out loud. Her writing is comical, candid and written with sheer abandon. Her essays reflect her life, from growing up with cultural insecurities to accepting herself today for all she is, or she’s getting there.
Koul’s stories are warm, hilarious and unexpectedly relatable. They tackle themes such as growing up with body shaming and light racism. Twitter trolls, which she rendered as – “what they say to me online is the purest distillation of the rage they feel – statements that would get them fired or arrested in real life but get them begrudging attention online.” As distressing as that experience was for her, after that much-required break, I’m so glad she is back on Twitter. Her cheeky tweets are all you need on a gloomy day.
She further writes about substance abuse and rape culture in college, written with brutal honesty in the story – “Hunting Season”. How it’s habitual for men to stare at women and always has been. It all starts by offering small talk or a drink and sometimes how “no” is not the desired response. She writes how women are spotted from the time they walk into a bar and the colluding begins. – “When a guys asks to buy you a drink, suggest he buy you a snack instead and see how that goes over.”
The stories of her family keep meandering in and out throughout the book, which I completely relished. Some of these stories, as heavy as they sound, are amusing and narrated with honest and witty personal anecdotes. For instance, how she literally had to get cut out of a skirt she was trying out in the store or introducing her Indian parents to her older white boyfriend. Or when she wrote about how she inherited fear of almost everything from her parents – from fear of flying to fear of swimming in the ocean. With all the baggage that comes along, reaching a stage of anxiety and paranoia.
She also acknowledges the cultural difference, through a five day long Indian wedding, entwined with feminism, and as silly as some the rituals and beliefs are, she wants to embrace those roots.
On the whole, yes, I thoroughly enjoyed the book. But what I loved the most were the snippets of her email interactions with her dad. After these, I’m sure there are people out there rooting for her father to get on Twitter. Her relationship with her niece is endearing. What I admired about that was, how Koul wants her niece, though living in a white society, to have the experiences her Indian heritage brings.
Ironically it’s not just a play on words and one day all of this will matter.
Just an excerpt of what you’re missing out on if you don’t go pick up this book right now!
“Scaachi: My boss called me competent today.
Papa: That warms the coccles of my heart. Were his lips a bit curled when he said this. I do not trust anybody.”